Stuck.

Stuck • adjective

unable to move, or set in a particular position, place, or way of thinking.

I wasn’t that aware about my life in my spacetime these days. I said yes almost everything so just so I could off my mind thinking about you. I am lost – about what I am currently doing or who the hell I be with.

There was a time, I was having a lunch. Typical hot restaurant with typical malay-indo menu with my friends, two of them infront of me. All I know that time the noisy restaurant vibe didn’t even registered most of my hearing nor my mind. All I know, I am thinking about you. Stupidly still, I think about you.

It happened in multiple occasions.

I couldn’t move on if I must say. For the most part.

I don’t know what it feels actually where my feeling is nowhere near happy and sad for what situation and position that I am in. It just stuck. Right there.

I am not making a point where I want you back, hold my hand and smiled to me and saying “we gonna go through this. I loved you.”

I am not making a statement that I am on my way forgetting you and I am in process with someone new.

Like I said, I just stuck.

I am not waiting you.

I am not wanting you.

I am not hating you.

I am not in love with you.

I am officially stuck. Either pain or gain. I get really confused.

Is it a relationship status? Stuck?

I really can’t forget the way you laid your eyes on me. I really do. I admit about that.

What I hate about this particular situation, I really can’t see clearly what I wanted in life. Yes, this emotion making me stuck where my life were at stakes. It seems stupid because it really is.

I hardly making a decision about my life.

I’ve lost almost everything in life; my friends, my job, my things, and when comes about losing you, it makes me whole broken into pieces. Crushes where every piece of nothing like a particles.

But meh, I got myself after all. A someone who strong enough, I admit – could get back from the ashes.

It is hard to believe that finally, I’ve become a person that damaged beyond repair. Where back then, a new love pouring in and I just go for it giving my very best but as on today it is none at all.

But heres an absolute truth; I miss you.