A story about Sunlight on the sky and thunderstorm 2 miles away.

I felt so sick. Not physically, but mentally. I wish I know what it is, but it seem can’t find any possible answer. I mean, not anymore.

I felt lame and nothing to blame.

I can’t feel love, moreover, I hardly do any love.

It was tiring, but not in a way that I need a vacation or a day off but I need just simply to end it before any of this rotten to rot, sink into the ground.

I am weirdly felt so sick, a heavy heart and foggy vision inside my eyes. I can’t see the thing clearly nor I could use my brain to think properly.

No, this is not a suicide note per se. I wish dying is the answer just like old times. But to think back, not even death is a valid solution to simply end all of this.

I got no future in mind nor past to mourn or to be joyed. That’s how I feel.

For some part, I felt pity for those people doing their best for their world and giving me a bit of taste for my world. Which in turn, in my side of the spectrum, it did nothing. I can see their effort but it is not them to blame. It is me. I can’t feel any. Not even the fingers typing this shit.

I am in a moment were not even clear night sky with the half-moon, Jupiter and Saturn light giving enough joy for me to smile. I am in a situation where sunrise light just annoyed me. I am in a world where sunset feels lame.

Ever in a single day you feel, you have done anything in your will power into something but nothing turn out? That’s how I feel, trying just simply to live my life.

It feels I am standing up on a hill and looking into a beautiful scenery where there’s sunlight pouring the scenery. But there’s also a thunderstorm 2 miles away from the South.